What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
