Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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