that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
