Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize