just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
