dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
