Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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