Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
BRING THE BAGELS
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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