Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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