I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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