Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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