sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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