if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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