if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
