I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
