Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
