He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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