D3 body, D1 cock
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize