I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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