she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
