Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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