You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize