Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
