If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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