I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
