yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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