me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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