if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
