who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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