It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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