Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
