Will you blow on my dice?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
