Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
