Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
