I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
