I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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