go do what you do best...puke behind churches
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
