I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize