I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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