How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
