I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
