So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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