One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
