Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
40s are totally the cure
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
