why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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