I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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