ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
