Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
