They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
