I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
