I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
