i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my being single is dangerous.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
