somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
