you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize