people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
