Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
