Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
