i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
