walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
