we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
