But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
