so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
